No. 07 for August 2002
‘That’ is not a four-letter word
At some point – maybe it was a stern high school English teacher, a crotchety old professor or a curmudgeonly editor – we were warned that the word that is to be excised from our copy.
But even in this day of the 50-inch web and the exhortation to “write tight, write bright,” that is not a four-letter word. Often a well-placed that will keep the reader from hesitating, even for a split second – a split second in which he or she might well decide to do something else. In those cases, I’ll take the word every time.
It would have helped in each of these:
Hodges said Monday he would appoint lottery commissioners.
If he said it Monday, then Hodges said Monday that he would appoint lottery commissioners. If he said he would appoint them on Monday, then it becomes Hodges said that Monday he would appoint lottery commissioners. We don’t know when he said it, but now we at least know when he will do it.
Crane said while stealing a dog is a crime, it
isn’t burglary.
Jeffcoat said when hospital leaders declined to take over
the ambulance system, they
pledged to give it a cut of hospital profits.
Adverbial phrases, or prepositional phrases that serve as adverbs, can be attracted to the nearest verb, which here is “said.”
Crane wasn’t doing any
stealing; he represented someone who allegedly did. Context eventually makes it
clear, but why make the reader push past hesitation? Make it Crane said that
while stealing a dog is a crime, it isn’t burglary.
And Jeffcoat didn’t make his
statement at the same time hospital leaders were avoiding the takeover, He made
it later: Jeffcoat said that when hospital leaders declined to take over the
ambulance system, they pledged to give it a cut of hospital profits.
McMahon told the attendance panel taxpayers expect a
strategy ...
Judge James Warren said during a hearing Wednesday about
400 prospects would
receive the questionnaire today.
Was McMahon talking about taxpayers
who happen to be on the attendance panel, or was he talking to the attendance
panel about taxpayers? It was the latter, and so McMahon told the attendance
panel that taxpayers expect a
strategy ...
The good judge wasn’t holding the hearing about 400 people. He was making a statement about 400 people during the hearing: Judge James Warren said during a hearing Wednesday that about 400 prospects would receive the questionnaire today.
We also have trouble with some verbs, such as warn, promise, acknowledge, show, feel, charge and fear. With a stated object, that is not needed, but it often is when the object is implied.
For instance, I could warn you are in danger, which would be warning you. Or, I could warn (the public) that you are in danger.
Common Sense Journalism – August 2002
Page 2
Prosecutors warned the suspect was armed and dangerous.
Did prosecutors warn the suspect? No, and why make the reader press on for context? Prosecutors warned that the suspect was armed and dangerous.
A well-placed that can eliminate an unsightly comma and make for an easier read. In fact, it became clear under questioning, the governor didn’t even know what trust funds were available ... instead becomes In fact, it became clear under questioning that the governor didn’t even know what trust funds were available ... .
Sometimes we have trouble because we treat our copy as though it were to be spoken, and so we expect the reader to make the same pauses we would:
Some, anticipating approval, are far enough along with development consumers could see the technology in vehicles in a couple of years.
You
can just see the writer mentally taking a breath after
”development.” The reader, however, might not, and so that would make it clearer all around.
Some, anticipating approval, are far enough along with development that consumers could see the technology in vehicles in a couple of years.
As the AP advises in its stylebook: “When in doubt, include that. Omission can hurt. Inclusion never does.”
Your teenager now can host a party; the AP says
it’s OK:
Among the changes in the new 2002 AP stylebook is elimination of the hyphen in teenager (and freelance) and of the proscription against “host” as a verb. As Editor and Publisher quotes stylebook editor Norm Goldstein in classic understatement, “people either ignored the suggested use or did not need any more help in using” that entry and some others that were dropped.
Many newspapers long ago converted to teenager as one word. And “host” has been overtaken by common usage, aided and abetted by television and the sports pages.
There will be some teeth gnashing and well-taken comments that if we are to use “host” as a verb, then we should, to be consistent, use “guest” as a verb. (The dictionary allows such use, though I would heartily counsel against it.) I suspect before long the grammar and usage books will drop their protests against premiere as a verb. I will briefly mourn the further muddying. But language evolves, and sometimes it’s best to move on.
Doug Fisher teaches editing and reporting at the University of South Carolina and can be reached at dfisher@sc.edu or 803-777-3315.